Reassess...

Two pills at a time, don't vomit. I'm starting a new medication today (the second one this month) that will hopefully help sort my hormones out(pray for no dizziness or side effects) . Don't get me wrong- I'm pretty healthy and thankful for what health I do have, but something has to change.

I feel lucky that for the most part, I thrive. I've reached a level of happiness that I didn't know was possible. That doesn't stop me from going back and trying to ponder why I think the way I think and what created who I am. No one created the book for what to do when you find out your abuser is as lost and alone as you are. I went from being angry at, to ignoring, to feeling sorry for people in my life who've hurt me. Abuse is a cycle and although I'm no longer angry, I'm at a loss for how to feel. I can't go back and fix their pain any more than I could fix my own. I've settled mostly for trying to help others out of their pain. At least I feel a little more productive that way. Looks like I'm at another in-between place between surviving and thriving completely.